Monday, October 18, 2010

"Waiting and Remembering"

So with only two days left of childless freedom, my mind is reeling with the endless possibilities of 'what if's'. I've maintained pretty well through the whole pregnancy, trying not to think of what could happen or what could go wrong. Now with less than 48 hours remaining, its hard not to start thinking of the 'could be's'. So to take my mind off things, I've been trying to remember all of the fun pregnancy dreams that I've had....

The very first dream that I had was kind of a blurry dream. Nothing very exciting. It was before the 20th week of my pregnancy b/c we didn't know the sex yet and I was hoping for a boy. The dream was about us (my mother-in-law, Kevin and my mom - maybe my dad) leaving the hospital (which is funny cause that's how it's going to be). We were getting into my parents Durango and the right passenger door was open with the baby on that side. I climbed from the driver's seat to the back seat and saw a little girl, but she was wearing one of the first outfits that I had purchased. Which at the time of the purchase I thought was gender neutral, at second glance it was definitely a boys outfit (brown and blue).

I remember waking up and thinking, 'okay, the baby was a girl, but she was wearing a boy's outfit, maybe it will be a boy'. That turned out wrong, definitely a girl:)

The  second dream didn't come until much later, probably around my 28th week. It was a dream about breastfeeding. Apparently, my mind had fears that I would be unsuccessful (they say your baby dreams usually revolve around what you're most concerned about). In this dream, I had my baby (not gender specific) and it was the size of my hand, which if I had given birth at that time would have probably been the right size. Well, in the dream, I laid her on my chest (decided it didn't sound right to call her 'it') to allow her to crawl up my chest to breastfeed. Now, that sounds weird but I had just had a breastfeeding class, where the lactation specialist told us that if you laid the baby on the mom's chest, it would actually crawl up the body, bounce from boob to boob and latch on perfectly. Apparently, this is a natural reflex for the baby and is an amazing sight to see. Anyways, this little pint size baby creepily (and I mean creepy) crawled up my chest and bounced from boob to boob. And even for a dream was pretty amazing to see (besides the fact that I was creeped out by the size and appearance)

The next dream was pretty soon after the one just mentioned. This one portrayed my fears of having a giant baby. In my dream, the baby was still inside me and was pressing her hands and feet against my belly. I looked down and what I saw was the outline of a baby's foot. Except the babies foot was the length of my hand. All I could think of was 'my god, she has the feet of a 5 year old, the rest of her body must be huge, get her out, get her out!'.

I told Coach about both of those dreams, and he laughed and told me that he had a similar dream. In this dream the baby had been born and I was attempting to breastfeed. In real life, we have an over sized La-z-boy chair, its awesome. Well, in Coach's dream I was sitting on one side and the baby was laying across my lap. The baby was so large that she her feet were dangling off the opposite side of the chair. Not good, not good at all!

My last dream, and given the amount of time left, the final baby dream was about my delivery. Well, kind of about my delivery. In my dream, the baby was pressing and pushing on my belly so I looked down. I could see her hand in-print on the lower left side of my belly and as I watched her pressing, I noticed that her hand was becoming clearer and clearer. She was actually stretching my skin out with her hand, so much so that I thought I could tickle her palm. So I placed my finger in the middle of her hand, which was now two or three inches away from the rest of my belly (with skin still surrounding hers) and she actually wrapped her little hand around my finger. From there, she held on tight and actually swung her self down and out while holding on. She had dark hair and was a normal sized baby. An extremely easy labor, if I don't mind saying so myself.

The past nine months have been great. I've had little to no issues and both sides of my family have been ultra supportive. Given the circumstances, the past nine months could have been hell but they haven't. Coach and I are fortunate to have an open, understanding and communicative relationship. Without that, I couldn't imagine what this would have been like. I have tried to keep an open and unassuming mind with regards to labor&delivery and the expectations of what our daughter will look like. To make assumptions or imagine an event or person a certain way, in my opinion, opens you up to let downs and disappointment. And the last thing I want is to be disappointed at the sight of my daughter. I'm sure that wouldn't happen but I would never want to look back and know that even for a second I was disappointed in what I saw.

I don't know if I'll get to write in the upcoming days, or even weeks. But I promise the moment I have a clear mind you'll be the first to know. Wish me luck!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

'The last weekend of Us'

As a coaches wife, one of the many things you have to except is being alone or I should say being without your husband. Its the rougher part of the job and definitely stinks if you enjoy your spouses company:)

This coming up weekend is a truly unique and special weekend. Its a milestone that I'm glad I've realized prior to the weekend being gone. This weekend, Coach comes to visit, his last visit before our first child is born. The last weekend before we move from husband and wife to mother and father. It seems pretty crazy to think about, but pretty awesome to know as we go into the weekend. Not many parents have that luxury. They don't have that luxury because they're together every day and they don't know when their baby will be born. We don't know when ours will be born (outside of the usual expected date) but we do know that after this weekend Coach won't be back until baby Robinson is born.

The great news is that he will be able to come down in the early afternoon tomorrow and stay until Sunday around lunch time. The bad news is a part (hopefully not a large part) of the weekend will be spent with him packing the remainder of our stuff away. I, of course, would love to help but given my 37 weeks of pregnancy unable too:).

My current dilemma is how to utilize this weekend to its full advantage. Obviously, there are certain options that are automatically out - drinking for example, not going to happen. So how do you spend your last weekend as husband and wife? do you try and accomplish everything that you want to do, that you know you can't after the baby is born? or do you spend it lazily together, knowing that this, even though not exciting, could be the last time to just be?

So I ask, how would you spend your last weekend together? or how did you spend your last weekend together?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

"Pregnancy Brain"

What starts out as an other day, slowly turns into a pregnant brain day. Now, mind you, Coach will tell you otherwise and say its just 'Trishy brain', but there is truth to what is known as 'mommy brain' or 'pregnancy brain'.

The 'Pregnancy Brain' syndrome is when you think you are acting logically, you think you are following typical, every day steps, only to realize that you waited in line for gas for 10 minutes and your car is on the wrong side of the pump.

Well, that's at least one of my fun examples. The worst part is, sometimes you may not even catch your pregnancy brain acts, and unless others catch it for you, god only knows what you've left out or put in the wrong spot. I actually caught myself one time, putting the cereal box in the fridge. Harmless yes, but then you start to wonder, what's going to happen when I have a baby?!

I can see it now... 'Honey, where's Nikki?', 'I don't know, check the fridge'.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

"Heading into the Final Frontier'

Okay, so that title might be a slight exaggeration but we're definitely below the 30 day mark now!! Baby Robo could in theory make her appearance any day I ready? 'nope', am I excited? 'uh huh'.

Coming from a family that loves to plan and setup schedules, the not knowing and the unexpected is probably what is keeping me from answering both of those questions with a little more enthusiasm . With only 25 some days left, it's killing me (and I'm sure my parents) that we're unable to set dates and times or even flights. I currently have a husband in waiting, 6 hours away if driving or 1 hour if flying, and parents that are 10 hours away, 2 1/2 if flying. All of which can only sit and wait, while I sit and wait - can someone get me a pillow?.

But I do know the end is near, whether or not I can plan anything around it is a different story, but I do know, how do I know?!, I know because I wake up at night with pains shooting through my lower region, I know because my waddle has become slower and more defined (didn't think that was possible, either did Daisy), I know because my uterus is tightening up and performing practice rounds of labor (braxton hicks you little booger, you!), I know because I can no longer even think of eating pasta without some form of indigestion (two bottles of tums later). Apparently, what nobody tells you the first 8 to 9 months of pregnancy is that your baby is growing and while you think your body is too (it just appears that way), it's not until the last round that your body really starts getting ready.

At least now when strangers ask, 'how much longer?' I feel okay saying '3 weeks' vs when they were asking and I was saying '2 months'. Apparently, my belly popped sometime ago, those were always fun looks:)

I do love it when a stranger or an acquaintance asks, 'Are you excited?' with that anticipating smile - they just know you're going to say 'yes' - and you respond with 'well, kind of, but time is starting to go by pretty fast and all I feel like doing is back pedaling, haha'. The looks I get are definitely not ones of smiles, which I always think is hilarious. Hilarious, because they usually ask that question after they make comments like 'you'll start to get to know your baby after a couple of weeks', or, 'no more sleep for you, get use to being up every two hours' (I haven't slept through the night since about week 5 by the way), 'you're going to be emotionally drained, but also physically drained, which will add to your being emotionally drained'. Seriously, what kind of response do they expect?? 'Oh my god, yes, I am beyond excited!!, I love the idea of losing my mind mentally and my body physically, not knowing what my daughter wants from me, but trying to give her what she needs every few hours, who wouldn't be excited?!!!'...sometimes my sarcasm doesn't register for people, I guess I should start lying and just say 'yes':)

The weeks ahead should be interesting. I have laid out certain plans for the weekends and the upcoming weeks, but I have no doubts that with every doctor appointment, I'll need to adjust and change them. Which, frankly, I'm okay with, because that just means more planning for me:)

This weekend I'm suppose to be organizing, packing, finishing thank you notes and knitting...what can I say, last night was long and college game day is on...Go Canes!!!